Our perspective is the one thing that we are in 100% control of, 100% of the time. There's power in that. Use it.
Oh, February. The dreaded F word. It's cold and dark, and while I'd rather be basking on a warm rock under a heat lamp like a lizard, it is the perfect time of year for this month's prompt: Gratitude. Gratitude is great and all, but how often do we really practice it? Maybe only during the Thanksgiving season because it's written on every home décor cushion and pumpkin spice scented candle as far as the eye can see? This month, I'm going to dive into how easy it is to practice gratitude. It doesn't require an app or any periods of abstaining from your favorite things. To practice gratitude, all it takes is a change of perspective. I think it's safe to say that there are a lot of factors in our lives that are out of our control, at least for periods of time, but our perspective is the only thing that is 100% in our control, 100% of the time. We can't say that about much else. Once we're reminded that our perspective is in our control, we can use it to change a perceived con to a pro, or a perceived annoyance into a reminder of something we have. Here's a personal example from my own experience: when I visit my family during the holidays, it generally has some periods of chaos and noise sprinkled in amongst the festivities (otherwise, would it even be Christmas?!) The household becomes very busy with 4 children running around (Santa always seems to bring the loudest toys he can find...), and it can be a bit overwhelming. So, what can I do? Change my perspective! Instead of dwelling on what is annoying me, I can flip it: Yes, the kids are noisy BUT I'm grateful that they have voices and are having fun. Yes, the kids are running around (and maybe my drink was spilled) BUT I'm grateful that they have good health and mobility to do so. Another example that I use frequently: The dog generally gets 2 to 3 one-hour walks daily. Despite this, sometimes just as we sit down to relax for the evening, the dog will drop her ball at our feet asking to play. We're generally tired at this point, and thinking, "You've walked/played for 2-3 hours today. Why don't you go lay down for a bit?" Instead, I remind myself how lucky we are to have a 9 year old dog who still has so much energy and mobility.
Just an FYI, changing your perspective is not an overnight process...
But it does get easier to do and easier to remember with each use. Think of it as a muscle; it can be trained.
Here are some other examples that might be relative:
"My commute to work is so long..." | "I'm grateful that I have a job that supports me" "The commute home gives me time to release the stress of work, so it doesn't come home to my family" |
"My kids have extracurricular activities every evening. There's no chance to relax..." | "At least my children are healthy and active, which allows them to participate" "Participating in social and team-building activities is beneficial for their social-emotional growth" "I'm grateful that I have the resources (time and money) to provide them these opportunities" |
"Gas is so expensive..." | "I'm grateful to have a vehicle. Many people don't have this luxury" |
"I'm so sick of the rain..." | "...but it's essential for the earth, especially during high fire index seasons" |
"I have no money..." | "...but I understand that money is a currency, and just like energy, it can come and go; ebb and flow." "If I'm in a state of ebb now, it means the tide is coming in. Flow is coming" "...but I am rich with family, friends, opportunities, knowledge, etc. Some people are so poor, they only have money" |
Now, two quick disclaimers: One: I'm not saying you're not allowed to complain (fact: I will complain about winter 30+ more times this year.) To complain when things fall short or are outside of our ideals is natural. It's just unhealthy to make complaining your default setting. Instead, make taking action your default setting. If you only focus on the negatives, the negatives is all you will see. Pessimists aren't born; they're developed.
And two: just because you are putting a positive spin on things, doesn't mean there aren't things that can't or shouldn't be changed. For instance, I wouldn't recommend changing, "My roof is about to collapse" to "I'm grateful I have a roof over my head". Instead, I'd recommend you GTF out. Sometimes, work needs to be done to put you in a better situation. That can be true for careers, relationships, finances, etc. But if you find yourself in a scenario where you feel as though you have little control over your current circumstances, this is a major way to shift your mindset from negative to positive. At the end of the day, you get to choose your outlook on things. Whether you choose to embrace a positive one of a negative one, the amount of work is the same.
© 2023 Cass Boutilier